Mike's Death

The most intimate details will not be shared here. Mike had been losing weight and I'd say the last few weeks of his life were the happiest I'd seen him in a long time Life gave us many troubles but we never had trouble in our marriage, We were positive and happy the week he died. His diabetes and blood pressure were not under control. He worked around the clock. It seemed nothing could stop him. Mike's last call that day was at 4pm. He had a pick up the next day I knew nothing about. (only death could keep Mike from a pick up.) He did mention that day and the day before that he didn't feel"right". We enjoyed chicken parm heroes, some family time and then went upstairs to bed. Eventually, he was coughing and having trouble getting air. I'd seen this before and although brutal it always passed, this time seemed worse. I thought an ambulance should be called but he'd have none of that I didn't call the ambulance until he fell to the ground. Nothing could be done. We were spared an autopsy because he was diabetic and hypertensive and morbidly obese. We figured out quite quickly that it was probably not a heart attack but a "Triple A" Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm. That gives me peace because he was dead when he hit the ground. It alleviated the guilt of not being able to save him. He was 54. I was going to be 46 not even a few weeks later. We didn't have enough time. We were married 6&1/2 years (almost) I miss him all the time. I hate seeing his kids in pain. He took up a lot of space in our lives. We try our best but there is no way to fill it.

Needless to say I don't imagine I will ever eat a chicken parm hero as long as I live.

I do pray, honor him, talk to him and keep his memories alive.