On the Rollercoaster Again

First let me say I have so many blessings to count. Friends and family who come through with ease in the most important ways. People said there might be backlash from the WiddowBago. My backlash seems to get a slow start but it comes. Easier this way than just getting slammed.

I am so blessed that thanks to the gifts of the internet I have reconnected with a friend of long ago. He was an anchor, a mentor and brave enough to call me out on my shit. But with love, not cruelty. I so look forward to having him in my life again and catching up on all the years gone by. But mostly, for today and what is to come.

So, the grief monster has been hiding in the shadows. He is all over me now. The 8th would be our 8th wedding anniversary, his son has a birthday this week. He should be here. So, the anticipatory anxiety curse is back. I still have fun, I can deal. I just need people to let me cry when I need to. The tears won't kill me, believe me, I know.

And I need to say his name....Let me have that please.